I find myself going through a personal crises
. It may not be big to some, and, in the grand scheme of the universe, It is not big, But to me, on a personal level, its rather immense.
On this path I have chosen to take, One of the difficulties I have is ,:How do you know? In the sense of, how do you know when your personal Deity/s or Forces in your life are trying to tell you something? How do you know what is a lesson, and what is just unintended universal function?
As this path I am on is internal, and not with say, a group, what is a message? Most of my life, I have felt held back, that if I try, if I strive, I fail, I get hurt. Both physical, and spiritually. One of My Valued Teachers suggests that maybe I am being affected by something, A Jinx of sorts, Not from anyone in particular, but A General sort of continual bad luck. Another valued friend suggests that Perhaps, as a reincarnation point of view, perhaps before I started this life, I chose this path as a lesson.
As a received message, some Mainstream religious followers have said to me that God speaks volumes, that I just need to listen, and became mature and close to God , like them. That the wind speaks, that just being alive is a message that I should take to heart. That a Prayer is answered you will just KNOW, and that I prayed. And didn't hear an answer means that I do not have the proper sort of Faith. But as well, those self same followers commonly say "God Gives us what he knows we need, not what we Want!" So, if God feels that we need to get stronger by taking away a loved one in death, is that a good thing? Gods will is mysterious, and we may not know it, we must just accept on Faith?
The purpose of this ramble is that,while I believe that I will eventually walk from this dark place into a place of light, but when? How do I know, what can I observe that can show me?
In the end, it is I who must answer these things in myself. I must reconcile these things in me, for me.
As before, so again, I will endure. I will learn contentment
On your own path, what do you consider a Sign? A Message? How do you Know?
I've had that same feeling a lot of the time Sheldon. I used to believe I was cursed. Things haven't gotten better for me, but I've stopped looking for outside reasons, or internal reasons as to why I have persistent bad luck. It's a religious pitfall, from pagans and christians alike, to assign all blame of bad events to god(s), or to the self.
ReplyDeleteYou don't choose to have a bad life. God(s) don't curse people. Bad luck happens without source, or reason. All you can do, if there is a coping mechanism, is learn and grow from it, and one day you will be a stronger person for it.
Anytime you want to talk about things, by the way, I'm here, as a pagan friend.