Dreams and interpitations

January 22 2012

I dream sometimes. I wonder what we can learn from dreams? Can you instruct another, or is it all subjective, and only you, yourself are able to judge? Please, let me share a recent dream with you all.

A sapphire ceiling, and an onyx floor. Alabaster and red stone columns connecting above and below. A court of law seems to be in session, and I am the defendant. It appears that I have just lost, and the sentence is being pronounced. I am to be put to death by everyone there. The audience is my family, my loved ones, and my friends. Each person gets to come up to me,  say some supportive words, and then kill me in the way they deem fitting. Every time I am killed, I return to life for the next person. I feel each death hard. In my dream I agree with the sentence, that I deserve this. I am disappointed and angry at myself for having necessitated this action.

The dream continues until all have killed me. This may seem like a nightmare to some, but to me it was just a dream. Admittedly a dark one, and weird, but still a dream. I am not asking for your interpretation, Just to see that I can think my way through these things. To me, this dream is about not death, but change, needed change.

Do you interpret your own dreams, or do you consult with another, or, do you meditate? Or what do you do?

how do you KNOW?

I find myself going through a personal crises

. It may not be big to some, and, in the grand scheme of the universe, It is not big, But to me, on a personal level, its rather immense.

On this path I have chosen to take, One of the difficulties I have is ,:How do you know? In the sense of, how do you know when your personal Deity/s or Forces in your life are trying to tell you something? How do you know what is a lesson, and what is just unintended universal function?

As this path I am on is internal, and not with say, a group, what is a message? Most of my life, I have felt held back, that if I try, if I strive, I fail, I get hurt. Both physical, and spiritually. One of My Valued Teachers suggests that maybe I am being affected by something, A Jinx of sorts, Not from anyone in particular, but A General sort of continual bad luck. Another valued friend suggests that Perhaps, as a reincarnation point of view, perhaps before I started this life, I chose this path as a lesson.

As a received message, some Mainstream religious followers have said to me that God speaks volumes, that I just need to listen, and became mature and close to God , like them. That the wind speaks, that just being alive is a message that I should take to heart. That a Prayer is answered you will just KNOW, and that I prayed. And didn't hear an answer means that I do not have the proper sort of Faith. But as well, those self same followers commonly say "God Gives us what he knows we need, not what we Want!" So, if God feels that we need to get stronger by taking away a loved one in death, is that a good thing? Gods will is mysterious, and we may not know it, we must just accept on Faith?

The purpose of this ramble is that,while I believe that I will eventually walk from this dark place into a place of light, but when? How do I know, what can I observe that can show me?

In the end, it is I who must answer these things in myself. I must reconcile these things in me, for me.

As before, so again, I will endure. I will learn contentment

On your own path, what do you consider a Sign? A Message? How do you Know?

Healing

November 5 20011

Hey Hey everybody. I wanted to thank you all for your patients. I spent a week in September in the hospital, on my back for a nasty infection that, if it had not been fought with meds and wonderful Nurses and Doctors, I might have had body parts amputated.

But, after a Month of October convalescence, I am back, and on the mend. And here to discuss Healing.

How does healing work in your world? I have found that some don't think about it. It "just is" Others thinking greatly about it! I once had a classmate who was going through Chemotherapy, and she said that she had a visualization that the Chemo Drug entering her body were "White Knights" and that the Cancer was a "Ravening Horde"

She would focus upon that, and imagine a great war, and that the knights were winning.

Some use mediation, opening up Chi, and blood flow to aid in healing. Others use Yoga, clearing the Charka's even the use of Acupuncture. From a Wiccan perspective, would healing be a Coven thing? A Closed Rite where you use shared energy to encourage healing, using the earth and Goddess's help? If you a Solitary practitioner, then your own healing might be to balance whats in you so its better focused to healing , and asking for help from the Goddess/God you follow.

From my view as a someone who kitchen Witches, then good food, well cooked, and prepared with the intention of healing, with a cup of restorative herbal infusions would aid in Regaining Health.

As well, my own personal Meditation involves the visualization of rebuilding a broken protective wall. Seeing a pile of broken bricks and crumbled mortar. Picking up each brick, and dusting it off, and cleaning it of broken mortar. Making sure the base of the wall is prepared, and supported before butter each brick with new, well mixed mortar, before seating each course of bricks with solid protective intention. I was not attacked per say, but something was broken, and needs to be repaired.

What do you do to heal? Could you share it, that we might learn?

Next up, My Vision quest report!

Getting back on my feet

Its been a long past few monthes, getting back on my feet and allowing myself to heal properly. Please be patient with me, as i will get back to this Blog soon! I have several posts floatting around in my head, some about healing, and what Pain can do, As well, I have an intimate report of my first vision quest, I hope you will all read avidly! thanks!

Mistakes

Mistakes. We all make them. I would say how we learn from our mistakes, can, in part, help define us.

A common mistake I make is to not center after craft working, spell crafting, whatever you and yours might choose to call it. I have been taught that, before doing work, to make sure that you are centered, and prepared. That all of your tool are cleaned, and readied. That your materials are meditated over, and the thought of what you wish to achieve is a firm thought, and your intent clear.

All of these things I am prepared for. What I seem to forget is to nourish myself, and center AFTER my work! I have read many an account in which it is described that after a coven has done spell crafting together, the have "wine and cakes" A ritual on may levels. It help to bind together a group of people, it helped top talk over things, and help to renergize.

This is especially important, I find, when you are solitary practitioner. You are not relying upon others to keep you strong, only your own singular willpower. It makes sense, looking back upon it, that, energy out, should equal energy in. It's like putting fuel in a car. After a long drive, it makes sense to refill the tank. I mean, knowing that you must go to work the next day, its good to have a topped off tank, is it not?

Translation and perception

I spoke of translation in an earlier post. By that I did mean how do I, as a Hedgewitch communicate with the wild? Well, I will share some of muy ways in hopes that you may learn from them.

I have two decks of cards I use. I find that work the best for me.

Shapeshifter Tarot http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/cards/shapeshifter/

The heart of Faerie http://www.amazon.ca/Heart-Faerie-Oracle-Tarot-Cards/dp/0810988232

Now, I am told that these two decks are not traditional tarot decks, in fact the Faerie one is an "Oracle" deck. But, to me, they have both lead me to find truths within myself, and y life. I use the when I need answers that I cannot see clearly, I use the for advice on a possible path to take.

In the end, they are guides, NOT the be all and end all that I have heard some people take when using a tarot deck. In the end , as a guide, I make the final decision as to the path I take.

One of the problems on my chosen path is perception. How does a tree perceive? How long would you need to wait till a tree, a being that lives by seasons, will notice you?

Or a Fox? A being that walks on four legs, where we walk upon two! How do we, as people, perceive what they, the animals, perceive?

Patients, an open heart and mediation. Sit near the tree, and think like it. Think of water in the ground feeding you, of the earth holding you securely. The sleep of winter, and the heat of summer. And, wait. Continue to do this mediation, this exercise, and try to understand.

As the fox mediation? Open yourself to all that is animal in you. The necessity of the hunt, the scent of your environment, the success f finding a mate. Look around, the environment, look from the point of view of the animal, Imagine the scents you recognize as being stronger, the sights different, even how you hear things. And ask yourself, knowing these things, what does a fox need, or, for that matter, want?

Perception is a very big thing, to me. How do you "perceive" as something not Human? As a tree, as a fox? I feel you need to open yourself, and look, and feel. Accept that not everything revolves around you that you are part of a bigger whole, part of a system, not that the system stems from you. Is the face of a clock more important? Or the hands? Perhaps the gears! Or, is the clock itself, as a whole what you see?

As a Challenge, I suggest that you sit down somewhere comfortable, somewhere you feel safe, and try to let go, and perceive your world differently.

Hedgewitch

I am a Hedgewitch. I realize that this might very well need some explanation. I do not attempt to define what this word means to anyone else, and hope that my meaning may help another find their path, or, even help them to define that what i do is not what they do.

I believe that a Hedgewitch can be defined as such. A Hedgewitch is one, male or female, that speaks for both wild and civilized. A translator in fact, allowing discourse between 2 different ideals

Wild and civilized? What do I mean by those terms? Well, I feel that we, as people live in a world of balance. There are wild, but natural elements that we live beside. We have Foxes, hawks, rabbits, even healing herbs in our civilization. Many of us do not see these things unless they become, what many would consider, pests. In our careful cultured gardens, and in our trash. As well, the wild must coexist with us, Our roads, our Parks, or gardens, our homes. These places overlap, Example? A Public Park, there are wild animals there, and, well, if you knew what to look for, wild edibles! Yest, in a public park, we keep the trees trimmed, the grass cut, and playgrounds for our children.

There is , I feel, a huge esoteric, or, magic element at work here! If you believe, whats to say that at your park, that tree has a spirit that is hurt by the constant cutting of its limbs? Those Rabbits, who eat your gardens? Perhaps they are sendings of Small gods taking their tributes for the further health of your garden?

And what happens when all of those things become unbalanced? The small gods taking to much? That we trim the tree to much?

Thats where someone like myself might come in. I Might help the gardener listen to the wild that encroaches their garden, and help them, by, say, telling them what they need to give the rabbits to stop taking to much. Or that Tree? I might help it understand that the trimming of its branches will prevent rot farther down the road.

This is the path I have chosen, This is the path I find rewarding in that I can assist understanding of both the wild and the civilization.

The Hedge aspect? Well, look at it like this. There will always be borders, borders between the wild and the civil. I choose to call the border I see a "Hedge"

In another Post, I will discuss HOW I translate, what methods I have been using, and how successful they have been